remind me not buy ky at kmart ever again. Had to get a manager to open the locked case. then he stood there and watched me look through the selection
I hate that ur telling me this.
please explain to me why there is a shopping cart in my living room.
New game: find the sober person in Tbell
I wanted to take a shower but I forgot we made applesauce in it last night.
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
He made me keep his swollen nut cold with frozen bags of peas while rubbing his tummy because he said I had no choice.
Thanks for getting me stoned. My manager started quizzing me about the menu and I struggled until he asked me to describe the tortilla soup. I said "tasty"
Do you ever actually plan things? Or is it always drugs then whatever happens? I'm considering being worried about you
I'm pretty sure there a million tiny ninjas in my uterus poking me with sticks.
He's in the same dorm as me. We are sharing a laundry room, gym, and cafeteria. I'VE ALREADY COMMITTED DORMCEST AND MOVE-IN DAY ISN'T UNTILL NEXT WEEK!!!!
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
My cousin was arrested on a class b felony for selling meth out of the back door of McDonald's where he worked. Apparently it was the extra special sauce.
It was a career choice to be sure... Mistakes were made.
Im goin to jail bro ill talk to u sun
I know you're here! I can hear your phoneeeee. Wake up and do illegal things with me.
See I just want a dick that I don`t have to deal with or talk to unless it is inside me. Is that so much to ask for?
Randomize
