hot girl, 5 o clock
do you know how to read a clock?
i was that girl throwing up in the urinal. it was a dark moment in my life.
I am soup sandwich. I have been at dAnce party
Nope we're in the ER. He lit himself on fire trying to impress another girl with magic tricks.
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
It doesn't matter how many beers you've had, it's unacceptable to piss in someone's helmet after a playoff win.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
It was only funny because some guy across the street was getting his mail and he just stopped and watched me throw up everywhere
Are you coming down for 4/20 or does Easter kinda fuck that up for you?
I made a booty call at 3:30 am on a Monday... I think I just became the ultimate female fuckboy. I don't know whether to be ashamed or get myself a trophy.
You sluts I'm so proud of you. You're both wearing underwear.
I can't believe there are people our age getting engaged and I can't even find a solid coke dealer.
My vagina still hurts from yesterday. That's the last time I think riding a mop bucket is a good idea. Don't let me do that again
Did he pick you up in a mini van?
Yes. Turns out my sugar daddy is about to be an actual daddy
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