Gettin pulled over, can you watch my dog and pay the bils for a while?
Someone wrote that you're a whore in one of the bathroom stalls
I didn't know I was popular enough to be hated. This is awesome
Nothing screams don't date me louder then having your baby as your profile pic
We lost the cork forthe wine, so we used a tampon as a replacement. I never loves tampons so much
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I think I just tested my sobriety limits for unicycling.
The night took a downhill turn when he started using a butter knife as a spoon to drink his cosmo
do you think theyll let us bring mariachis to the strip club?
you trust me enough to eiffel tower a girl but don't trust me with a mallet wtf happened to our friendsship
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Shes definitely an expert at this. Her happy hour goes from 4 to 11, then she starts drinking heavy. She also allots 15 minutes each hour for a pee/bj break
Want to FaceTime and watch me finish this bagel?
This doesn't mean I'm going to attempt to find happiness with smooshy dick
with hottub sex, handcuffs, Pocahontas themed lap dances, and eating pumpkin pie off each other, I'm gonna say thanksgiving will be a success ;)
336: Dude I lost my.phone Wednesday night at a party and just found it, three days later, on the lacrosse field....what the actual fuck.
She thought I was dancing but I just couldn't catch my balance for 11 blocks.
Randomize