U know those big foam mats in the back gym for track?
ya, gonna go have sex there?
No I want one to have wings and pick me up and take me home
Grandma was not a fan of the beer-can ornaments. Not "traditional".
and now I know what throwing up pineapple chunks is like.
Yeah, we had those soaking in vodka for like 36 hours
outstanding.
Listen, i'm watching playoff hockey and eating waffles. i just don't have time for your drama today.
I froze in his sixty one degree room but i came so hard. Like fucking the eskimo god.
The manager of the bar we were at the night before came to my house today giving me coupons. Apperently you and i won karaoke night which is a prize of 300 beer dollars. No idea what beer dollars means nor do i have any memory of doing karaoke but lets go back tonight.
There is a pink thong attached to a bottle of svedka hanging from my ceiling fan..is this yours?
we didnt even have break up sex...
you had it for us with someone else...
Count me out. I seem to have semen induced blindness in one eye.
Someone asked me why we were having sex on the porch last night. All I remember is him saying he wanted the recruits to see. This has got to stop.
This whole bra on the outside of my shirt thing is so convenient. It turns my shirt into a pocket to eat Fritos out of. Mmm boobies
I successfully convinced a drunk NDSU student that their school does not have a football team and another that they weren't in Fargo. I'm a dangerous sober shark in a sea of drunks.
It was a book called Gay Safari.
I'm so happy for you now that you have found your perfect porn novel.
I mean, he drove your car and it burst into flames, if anyone cant be trusted, it's him.
Had a rough day but my boyfriend made that all better by going down on me while letting me watch Top Gear... I'm buying the engagement ring tomorrow
Randomize
