Christians are straight up FREAKS
I feel like my sweat is 40 proof right now
Ben's a prick.
What Ben are you talking about?
All the bens across all the lands
I gave her a mint afterward. It felt like giving turndown service at Hotel BJ.
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I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
He said he wanted to see my room, not my womb. It's a common mistake.
You were doing karaoke. Then you screamed "SHOUTOUT TO ADAM LAMBERT" and started making out with the very surprised looking guy next to you.
Dude, I fucked her last night with nothing but my bandana on. Like straight Indian chief style.
Granted I did fall into a pond wearing your dress, but I did save a frog in the process so I think it was worth it.
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I hooked up with a guy dressed as Wesley from the Princess Bride. I kept telling him what I wanted him to do and all he would say was "as you wish"
There are only four things in life that are certain. 1 Death, 2 Taxes, 3 The wu tang clan aint nothin to fuck with, and 4 you will never be more important than taco bell
I'm too stoned to come over for sex
Yes that is a Krispy Kreme doughnut on my cock
I'll be right over
Seriously I'm dying. All my insides are fighting their way out of me. With light sabers and machetes.
just so it's not awkward when you get here, you and my dog have the same name.
Hahaha nice
Drunk twilight is the only twilight
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