i hope your v-card owns a pair of floaties
how do i say "thank you for the blowjob, but never talk to me again" without crushing her?
I vaguely remember taking a shit behind the shed before I started puking over the fence. No more Xanax.
The interviewer had a hook for his right hand I TRIED TO SHAKE HIS HOOK WHAT IS WRONG WITH ME
the lady next to me just sniffed my hair, smiled, and then fell asleep. I almost started crying from that kind of creepiness
don't cry, we can learn from her
It was actually pretty good. His cock is as fat as the rest of him and I took out my contacts so I couldn't see him clearly.
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
Also, your vagina needs a time out and let your brain have a chance to make decisions.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
A surprise thumb up the ass and I'm wide awake. She was right, no need for caffine pills I could fight ninjas now.
High me just had to pick the lock on my sisters room because I locked my vodka in there. I love vacation.
Dude it's sisterhood of the traveling wine glasses here
Hun, it's always cinco de Drinko in our family. It's like Groundhog Day. Only with more booze.
Shaving your balls drunk sounds like a good idea untill you do it
Honestly at least you're not debating on whether or not you need to take plan b. But I can't because I spent all my money on pizza.
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
