The Worst (noun)- 1. Getting up at 6am after a night of drinking. 2. Wearing a Peter Rabbit costume.
whoa...plan B gets you drunker quicker.
And then he said "I can't get blown while Gordon Bombay and Mr. Holland stare at me from the TV"
in retrospect, i probably shouldn't have referred to his dick as "travel size"
It was going well until he told me about the 7k he made in college to be in a gay porn
Note for the future: whiskey syrup is AMAZING on 3am pancakes.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
Who are you to come into MY house and tell me when I can or cannot take my pants off?
Good god you suck at this wake up call. Seriously. If I can, after consuming enough vodka to subdue a russian soldier, muster up enough motivation to call you in the morning and send you naked pictures the least you could do is pick up.
I just got called the stable friend. This makes me super uncomfortable
I puked in the back of my mom's new car because I had too much to drink at Chilis. I think I just hit rock bottom.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
So I'm never gonna get to see you again?
Hopefully.
Why in the hell is there a guy dressed up as a horse passed out in our kitchen.
happy birthday!
kick those bitches in the teeth and tell them mama came to party
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