so I'm never txting u again after today...
y?
cuz i don't wanna see it on blogspot :)
ha...too late
i hope the fucking fire crotch burns his mouth
Just so you know, I have a bf.
I guess as long as you bring single girls over and cook cannolis you will still be useful.
My ferret is drunk. Someone told me you'd know what to do?
If i'm not hungover, near death, and wondering what i did the night before on Monday, life is not worth living.
Thanks for not cleaning the drain like you were supposed to. I just vomited in the shower and I had to stand in it until I was done conditioning.
They had an entire room dedicated to passed out people. It was like a dogpile of cross faded toddlers drooling on each other.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Please acknowledge the sock on the door. If not it will be rammed up your ass.
I just found out that order of 30 Beefy 5-Layers last weekend has achieved legendary status among the Taco Bell employees. Is there a Stoner Achievement for that?
My signature move is making guys wonder why they bothered in the first place
If I ever look like I'm about to have a repeat of last night, hit me. Just smack me as hard as you can.
WHITE RUSSIAN BREAKFAST CEREAL.
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
