I'm not to broken up about it. Our relationship was worse than a coldplay song.
I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! I saw hookers! Live in the flesh!
Dude you picked up her Chihuahua and threatened to kill it yelling "it's not cinco de mayo, bitches"
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Yeah I mean its Vermont, not like id be the first guy to trade pharmaceutical services for beer
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
well i mean she can't stop a weed based friendship...its like a trying to stop a bomb or a really fast train...
Im glad the only reason we got out of bed today was to get Halloween candy on sale.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
No I need this job. I actually contemplated buying a vibrator with my dad's credit card the other night.
I'm gonna play eenie meenie at the bar tonight because it's women's day and I deserve the dick
I met his parents. We played twister. My boob popped out.
Today I learned that I have a bigger dick than Draymond Green
Sunday morning breakfast with the boyfriends family. I just puked in the stall at Cracker Barrell. Classy.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
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