so i walked in, looked up the stairs and all i saw was smashed pumpkin, tube socks, and marinara sauce
you said you get the best orgasms off Pez dispensers. how do you think he felt????
i didnt mean to paint the dog... it just kinda happened
He told me his mother taught him that move. What the hell do I say to that?
her facebook pictures are like a timeline of all the guys she's screwed.
Remember when I booked a hotel room for next sat? Nneither do I.
ive been a drunken mess for the last 5 days. i feel like a 19 year old again
Circumcision scars are like fingerprints. I think I'm on to something man.
Well, remember that night we took shrooms at graces an had to leave immediately to go home and hold each other on the futon and sob for four hours? That bad...
I would have been the big man on campus...just flop my wang out on the table and how them what they were gonna deal with if they dropped the soap
I just got high off one hit and the. Spent 20 minutes inspecting the gasket of our refridgerator and researching ways to replace it
I'm fine with our borderline lesbian behavior.
Where the hell did you pick this girl up? She just licked my cat and stole our last poptart.
I left at 4:30 in the morning and I told him it was because I had to take my contacts out
Don't mind me, I'm just walking 2 miles across campus with no jacket, covered in highlighter, and carrying a hair extension. Gotta love miami!
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