I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
imagine a blue Jetta with an ILLINOIS license plate that read JISLORD..... upon pondering it for 10minutes I came to the conclusion that J stood for JESUS and IF the license plate had enough room it would read "Jesus Is Lord"
I don't want to have to wonder if I'm draining my pasta in the same side of the sink you pissed in
Hey its bob the builder. Where did you go?
Is it a problem that I find my wife's 16 year old niece sexy?
Threw a lawn chair at the neighboors dog. I think I killed him. Come here and assess this
He's prob getting laid right now and I'm sitting alone in my duct tape shoes.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
The guy in the cast riped the tap off the keg and hit steve with it
well they never fully had sex so she's like an eskimo step-sister. I'll make a family tree for you.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
He's against "violent sex" cause apparently my body is "sacred". Like dude I'm about to tell you about blowing your brother just so you'll fuck me like an animal Jesus Christ....
Whoever roofied me last night owes me a new pair of white jeans
He sent me a 2am email the just said "Ping". Nerdiest booty call ever.
you had her IN YOUR BED NO PANTS AND YOU GAVE HER THW BOOT?!?!?!
Stage five clinger bro. had to go.
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