To answer your question of whether I "went back," tits just informed me I was kicked out for falling off my barstool and passing out on the floor...
why do married chicks ALWAYS cry after?
:( I miss blowjobs.
This is probably the strangest conversational segue we've ever had.
I've drank myself into a smaller pants size. Who ever said alcoholism was unhealthy was mistaken.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
True. She actually gives a fuck. A quality looked down upon if she wants to be one of us
And he probably thinks I'm in love with him but after three shots of Patron you love anything
We had to leave. Dave knocked a dude out for saying yolo.
It's like a toaster oven for my penis
You showed your tits for hundreds of beads but magically became shy when there was food on the line
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Driving you two to the party with a keg belted into the back seat has given me a brief glimpse of parenthood. I am now more resolved than ever to never breed, so thanks for that.
also, am i correct in guessing that advertising the size of my hypothetical penis is a turnoff to him?
Jesus I should have learned from my first marriage not to get married again
Look, the coffee machine died a noble death. It was the way it would have wanted to go. It was a mercy exploding, really.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Cmon. I wasn't that bad.
You stumbled ass first into the litter box, and everytime we tried to get you to move you said " if I fits. I sits."
Randomize