i just identified you from a description of your pipe
I think he liked me better when I only opened my mouth to suck his dick.
i've hooked up with him and three of his roommates and not a single one of them knows about it..think its safe to say i found the silver lining in a boys inability to communicate
Just woke up to find myself cooking eggs on the imaginary stove in my room.
So apparently the christmas orgy was a complete disaster
Just had a tranny complement my outfit. Looks like I'll have to change before we go out.
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
i'm sad to say... seems like women around here set up their armageddon booty calls ahead of time. wanna fill all these condoms with tequila and head downtown???
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
He walked into the bar, took a deep sniff and said "this place is fertile and ready for my seed" then calmly walked to the service area
the cops are being surprisingly chill about david hanging from a tree with no pants.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Remember when I convinced you to watch me eat my sandwich just so you could reuse my plate and save us money on our water bill? I'm so ecofriendly when I'm high
I broke a rule
Which One?!
The one where I shouldn't sleep with your friends. I broke this particular rule 4 times.
You're officially the worst brother ever.
I promise I won't bug you anymore, I just need the following things at your convenience but preferably soon: my earrings, cup, and panties. Thanks. Good talk.
Randomize
