My bottle opener just broke off in the cork
They don't teach how to cope w these situations in boy scouts
Saw shirtless man with angel wing tramp stamp seen biking in my neighborhood. Considering moving.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
She walked in the room and sighed really loudly fishing for attention. but I didn't bite cuz I don't give a fuck what's wrong with her.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
I don't remember her name, all I remember is trying to suck the wedding ring off her finger.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
yea im pretty sure it has something do with my love of forearms...
I literally just wielded a katana to save a child's life. What did you do today?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Sometimes familiar penis is best. Its like comfort food for your vagina.
It would have been the trifecta of dick for her.
Had a dream I beat up niall then madeout with him while snorting coke out of a dragons egg
Phone keeps correcting good morning to "food moaning" and I like the way it thinks.
Crust to egg proportion prescribes to a pedantic form of quiche. It's like saying breakfast pizza isn't pizza at all.
I. Love. Skype. Sex.
I think it's just been too long since actual dick has been inside you that you only THINK you love skype sex
Randomize