is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
I made out with the bride. You tell me how my night was
just fucked my old babysitter, gotta love block parties
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
i left with the words "thank you for undersanding my sluttiness"
considering I showed up there after a xanax, 2 bottles of champagne and some coke, no shirt and someone else s husband... I'm sure you can figure that one out.
You put your shot glass in your waistband and then told me how convinent it was.
I woke up to him using my debit card to order PPV porn and Jimmy Johns. I don't even know his name.
I called him a "Beautiful Bastard" with "Beautiful Bastard Hair". That is how you pick up a guy from Denmark.
You thought there were zombies attacking us so you tried to tuck and roll out of a moving vehicle. Also you should consider wearing underwear
Drank your wedding present. Sorry
I think I've done enough damage with my vagina as of late, thank you
I blacked out in the cab last night... Cant remember getting in the front door, also i got into bed with my grandma.
can you tell me why i woke up in a diaper and combat boots?
Randomize
