Hemmingway ran to paris to avoid going to the university of illinois and becoming a doctor. It was there he developed a drinking problem. I need a plane ticket.
Getting pregnant off pre-cum is like getting high off erasers
I know it may not be fiscally responsible to pregame fifty cent night, but I'm gonna go ahead and do it anyway.
I'm not 100% sure, but I think someone gave me a bath last night...
I am so hungover and cant move but craving a Wendys frosty so bad. I might have to watch 2 girls 1 cup just to settle the urge
Quick question... Why were there condoms frozen into ice cubes?
You kept making up "snapple facts" every time you opened a beer.
Bookstore boy and I went out, he came back here and I tried to fool around and he respects me too much blah blah I'm a predator.
Yeah we call her cincohandjabos because she gave 5 guys handjobs one night in 5th grade
he also bled all over my floor. unrelated to cats but true nonetheless.
No she probably looked into my aura and saw that my penis would ruin her.
Can I get that on a shirt
I went to an 8am hookup in another guys sweatpants. Who is the really player here?
It's the third day of class and I got told I smell like a distillery.
CAPS.LOCK.AND.SPACEBAR.ARE.BROKEN.
Tequila is never to blame. We all make good choices under tequila
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