Congratulations, you fucked a nickle into me.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
I can only get completely wasted and hungry two more times and then we're out of fritos.
I think its pretty common. 1 out of every 4 people probably have a stripper's phone # in their phone.
My hands always smell like pizza crust when im hungover.
I feel like I should throw some tampons around my workspace so everyone will know what's really going on
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
Never in my life did I think i would give a blow job in the bathroom of my old elementary school. Twice.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
I appreciate the fact that you sent me a snapchat of your dick soaking in a cup of water.
She's the prison bitch to my Martha Stewart.
I'm wearing a fleece onesie eating pop tarts on the train to work. Killing it.
Since when is my clitoris pierced?
roommate singing save a horse ride a cowboy wearing a cowboy hat a bikini and jeans while humping the couch.
Shame - the story of my life.
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