Wish i knew that 10 minutes ago when i told him to dance with my blackberry while i got another drink
I blew a .224 after sleeping for 6 hrs, cleary im a champion
There is no way when we get home that nothing will hapen
My life is like a Sweet Valley High book but with lots of alcohol.
i chugged some hot sauce before i gave him head. i think a burning penis is a great way to say fuck you
Good thing it was his birthday because I accidentally grabbed his dick at the bar. A lot.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
Why is hotel staff askin about the blood in our room
I'm sorry for gagging during our first time having sex
I was drunk
Please answer
Who am I sleeping next to in your bed? Where are you? Also when are you coming home... I need coffee.
Fulfilled a bucket list goal last night. Borrowed a dollar from a stripper to buy smokes
God bless Atlanta.
Today I had sex and flossed at the same time. My relationship goals have been exceeded.
Do you think the police would frown on me opening a psych drug pharmacy on the side? Just to dispose of my drugs without polluting the water supply! It is for the animals!
She proceeded to flip everyone off then open a Heineken with her teeth.
I really don't think my body can handle another night of drinking
Lol you talk like you have a choice
I am worried that I am gonna die before the weekend is over
Randomize
