rethinking that breast reduction surgery... i'm tired of drunkenly explaining the scars to guys who don't really give a shit
One of my other friends found me and the dog in the back seat of this one guy's car....I don't even know
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
sooo what's the appropriate music to listen to after you find out the dude you been fucking, is legit married with kids...what genre is that?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I have a theory that years from now they will be with women who despise me because of what I trained their husbands to like.
although steph and I had 3 bottles of wine by that point and watched an opera that featured a black dildo so anything was possible really
I don't go out. I live in my room watching Bridget Jones and thanking my vibrator for existing.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I left when you were using your mug to lay on the street and ask for spare change
Is it tacky to frame a negative pregnancy test?
Is it sad or funny that I just bought two pregnancy test at the dollar store to give away to people on New Year's Eve while driving for Uber.
I am convinced you could sleep through the apocalypse and only wake up because youre hungry & want Dominoes
Chick in the kitchen making breakfast.. Yours or mine?
You should probably come home from vacation now. I make badddd decisions when you're gone.
Randomize