Everything we own is covered in grass and KY
ur penis kinda felt like a vagina to me
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
I'll be a little late, "getting ready for the party" turned into "smoking a bowl and doing lines in my room for an hour and a half." But I'm on my way now. With coke. And weed.
at 6am he came into my room and kicked me in the stomach. when i finally got up he was passed out in my hallway and the bathtub water was running
Been home for 3 days and already spiked coffee with Kahlua. Only 106 till we go back to school
she wants to wait til the kids are asleep so im just shotgunning the parents beers in the pillow fort. I love fucking babysitters
Absolute soulmates or functional alcoholics?
Can't be the first without the last
Was it just me or did you also find it awkward when "glad you came" started playing on pandora right after you finished?
I want to show up to tomorrow's study group looking like I got hit by a train. A train made of dicks.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
How are you supposed to wish the guy you send nudes to good luck for the first day of his new job??
Ever find a porn video so groundbreaking you mentally cancel all your Dick Appointments for the week?
Honestly, you can’t tell the whole sorority he has a donkey dick and expect that no one would sleep with him after you broke up
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