Incredible sex, Maddow, more sex, spoon, sex again
highlight from tonight: i hit on her and her mother.
Omg just want to confirm: got drunk, naked in street, fucked in bathroom and puked on bart.
Hey, remember that girl at rocklobster you thought was hot but were to pussy to talk to? You were right, her boobs are fake and she gives the best head on the planet. Can you come pick me up?
You're dead to me.
college "breaks" should be renamed "reminder why you left your hell hole of a life in the first place"
i am already firmly committed to doing irish carbombs w/ 12 different people, and the st pattys day party doesnt start for another 24 hours. i may die
Just come over and take your pants off. 35 mins tops. You'll be home before midnight cinderella
Drunk in a canoe getting pulled by a lawn mower thinking of you
at the hospital. he locked himself in the kitchen, said he was making beer batter shrimp. don't know if it's the mercury poisoning, alcohol poisoning or second degree burns they're holding him for, but i've got a pretty guess.
The liquor store manager told us to drink responsible as we checked out and we laughed to his face. Like we're buying karkov at noon, responsibility is out of the question
If she wants experimental lesbian sex, i call dibs
I think Saturday night will always be a mystery to me, except for buying an excessive amount of birthday shots for everyone and yelling BIRTHDAY SHOTS before every shot.
I chose not to drink last night but drinking chose me
I asked him to help me break in the space ship aka my bed.
I just got a text from a stranger offering to shave my asshole. I've been sober and out of town for a week, are you using my number as a dial-a-dumping again?
Randomize
