Hey, what are you up to?
Drinking wine with the guys and watching 7 Pounds.
Looking back I guess I could have changed that to beer and Die Hard.
Every time I find out someone else from high school got pregnant accidentally, I want to declare victory over them.
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Awww, you two will make beautiful abortions together...
My little brother got home at 4am too, we drunk ate together. It was a kodak moment.
so I woke up without pants, but my cardigan was still on and fully buttoned. curious.
I seem to remember you being very disappointed that drinking Michelob Ultra didn't give you magic powers.
Some guy seriously just got Jimmy Johns delivered to him at the graduation ceremony. This cannot be real life.
no, forget the keg and come see this. prego pants here is dunking chicken nuggets into pudding and crying over a cat show on animal planet.
His tongue was like Jesus himself was blessing my boobs for eternal ecstasy.
I'm not so sure Jesus approves of such activities, but ok.
Ugh he's texting me.
Tell him you're no longer interested in what he has to offer; his shitty personality outweighs his sexual prowess.
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
I think I died last night.
Yeah, you got carried home
I thought my holiday spirit was gone this year until I got banged to Christmas music. It's back.
It's not even a normal fucking affair I've found myself in. It's a fucking bdsm clusterfuck.
Randomize
