Holy cold harsh reality of sobriety batman
Is it weird i consider You Sexy Thing our song?
Jack off faster Americas best dance crew is beyonce themed
I was about to watch some really classy porn. Title was ravenous for dick. I didnt know pornstars knew ravenous was a word.
I just found out my first birthday was a keg party. Suddenly everything makes sense
The only thing that makes me want to stop the affair is that I am the Monica Lewinksy in this triangle.
Just when I think I'm the one with the problem, I get home for the holidays and the family shows me what alcoholism is really about
She didn't talk for 45 minutes. We finally convinced her to open her mouth. There was a flower in there.
We welcome drunken adversity.
With open legs.
also, I heard you can donate your eggs for like $8gs....hellloooo mediterranean vacation. thank youuuu future babies!!!
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
side note: on a scale of 1-10, how bad an idea is it to hook up with 9 cats guy?
I wanna get high and watch Shrek tonight...don't make me do it alone.
Im just an angry damaged little elf who wanders around and tries to find drugs.
My dog and I just went outside to pee together.
Randomize
