I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
thanks for texting me "so many asians" at 1am...
there were a lot.
Just asked my dog if he was proud of me for making it home. That drunk.
Subtly mention that I'm not a lesbian. I would only go for rebecca's nipples because they're pierced and I like shiny things.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
it wasn't a normal cookie, i figured that out 45 minutes into my exam
Don't worry. I told him just because you've gargled some balls in the past doesn't mean you'll be handling his.
I really wanted that to be shared. Thank you.
How much did you drink?
Enough to be hungover and still think roller coasters were a good idea
You know, I've never slept in a rug with anyone before you
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
I can't put those talents on a resume
For the first time in my life, I may be the most normal person in the room.
Update: I am definitely the most normal person in this room. And the least tattooed.
Hiding in a kitchen with no pants orange juice abs a pillow...please joun
I haye tequella
Why were u walkin around mc with a toilet bowl lid handcuffed to u and carrying a stuffed Teddy bear last night?
dude igloo, 4 foot bong, and 3 grams of blue dream. will you be my eskimo buddy?
Randomize
