Her body is shaped like a coke bottle...a two liter coke bottle
Hallmark should totally make "congratulations on getting your period" cards...I feel they would be quite popular.
what are u so afraid of ive smelled ur poop before
he was on top of me and all of a sudden stopped and starting picking his nose...i asked him if he was okay, he sort of looked confused, and he told me he had a booger that hurt. guess its a good thing i wasnt planning on dating this guy
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
He said he wanted to have kids with me so they could grow up to be professional linebackers. Not. A. Complient.
Tell Taylor to rock on. Tell her she is so beautiful that the sun shines down on her face and shows her beauty. Tell her to live on, like Martin Luther King. He'll never die. He's living his dreams.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
Based on the fact my iPad is covered in pizza, I'm going to assume I ate pizza last night
I have a cracked rib, no way in hell I'm bottoming for him tonight!
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I got sprayed in the face with titty milk and I'm still so traumatized
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm 80% sure I have pink eye. This is my penance for being a homewrecker.
Socially acceptable to sleep in a booth in the library? Its not finals but I dunno if I can make it back to south. Too drunk.
Its the damn oven. I think it wants to eat me.
You took the glass microwave plate and said it was the closest thing to a frisbee, let me know how that works out for you
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