My bra smells like weed because there's weed in my bra
She walked into class late sat down for 5 min muttered 'oh i cant do this' and walked out. She looked like death.
We should party with her soon
Oh no it's bring yor chld to work day...I'm too drunk for this
I swear if his heart was half the size of the cum stains he's left on my sheets we would have the perfect relationship
He dumped me and I don't wanna fuck his best friend for revenge. Is this what maturity feels like?
We got kicked out after you decided to chase your shot using the soda gun behind the bar.
I can feel the fear and stress bubbling in my stomach. Or maybe that is the pregnancy.
No, you always delete them without reading. Enjoy the virtue of morning innocence. What are you doing today.
Whoever owns the butter that i always steal out of the office fridge definitely put THC butter in there this time. Shit just got real.
Oh shit. My drunken car sex is on Google Earth.
School starts Thursday. Don't fling yourself out of the car to throw up screaming "classy" before I park this time.
It's a new year.
I slept with the Australian in the bathroom of a gay bar. What has my life become.
What are you talking about? Keg stands at wedding are super classy.
LACE UP YOUR GODDAMN SHOES
N O
I am a unicorn in a field of flowers, you asshole.
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