She is a fish and this place is a barrel. I can play this game.
I probably shouldn't have followed up that rainbow sherbet with beef jerky. This is a whole new level of fat, even for me.
I'm going on a nature/throwup walk. Don't lock me out of the apartment.
Thinking about adopting a 16 yr old here. Her name is Abby and she likes vodka. We've bonded. I need a sober driver n e ways...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just talked to Laura, confirming that is my bra. Hope it goes well with the rest of your wall decorations.
I'm about to airblow my boyfriend. I'll three-way you.
If i still have my costume on when i get home from the bar i am gonna be pissed
I fell into his fridge. I want to leave.
The point remains that this is the setup for some great stories
Or terrible, horrifying, traumatic experiences
great clearly means different things to us
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Kyle found me outside his apartment in the hallway. Said he didn't hear me knock bt smelled alcohol through the door. I'm sucha bitch to my liver
I haven't even had my coffee yet and you're being slutastic
rest in peace liver.
It was nice having you occupy space in my body that could be holding beer n chicken.
that's going in my livers obituary.
Not my lover. I would rather lose all my teeth, and I fucking love my teeth.
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
I can't wait to see you & have espresso-fueled sex
Randomize