You and your empty threats of no sex. Like.u.cud.hold.out.
So I'm pretty sure when I was giving a Birthday Blow J, he went to grab my boob, but grabbed a fat roll and asked "You're not wearing a bra?"
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
In line at the grocery store. The girl ahead of me is in a wetsuit and just bought 3 cases of beer and a bottle of vodka. I want to go where she's going...
He came when he saw that my nipples were pieced
Jailed a totally belligerent hot guy. That was probably my most thorough pat down. Ever.
Regardless of your intentions, deep throating a Twinkie is NOT sexy. You owe that poor cashier an apology the next time you pump gas.
and than he said 'I did amateur porn for a while' and I just knew tinder did not fail me this time
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
Plus who wants to live somewhere tom jerked off? No one.
I'm on A4A looking at dick pics while the CEO is on the phone trying to convince me not to leave the company
She told him that she never wanted to see him again then took his takeout box of bacon cheddar fries and got in the uber saying "for feminism"
is telling someone you can be his trophy wife the same as proposing?
my life is like one bad, slutty lifetime movie.
Next time we smoke please remind me to put my bong back in my build a bear box. My mom says if I leave it out one more time she's keeping it for herself.
Randomize
