I thought she was going to get passionate and throw her on the bed and fuck her, but she just started breaking stuff.
That's the thing about women.
Its official, cigarettes are now more expensive than weed
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
"fuck a duck" is spelled out in chinese food on my counter... im kind of nervous to search the rest of my house......
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
I swear it's like I have a jerk off quota I have to meet each week. If I miss three days I have a wet dream and it's like a wasted jizz, and it gets everywhereeeeeee.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
Turned on my GPS and all that it said in the search bar was "beer,"
She made me be the little spoon then she pretended to be a jet pack for an hour straight
when was she peeing in the stairwell? why dont i remember this?
....because generally we only remember 40% of the night each, and have to fill eachother in. And that still leaves 20% that we will never know and its probably for the best
She told me to act like the hulk during sex. Shit got 9 different shades of weird
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
Are we really going to sext in Pokemon battle fashion?
I can affiliate each flavor of Copenhagen to a different one night stand. I really love Texas.
Pregaming at Jodi's. Ten minutes
Thought it was at Brad's?
Pregaming the pregame. Need alcohol before I can see that dick.
Randomize
