Of course she's mad at you. You Kanye Wested a picture of her catching snowflakes in her mouth. "imma let you finish but..." was the shaft and you put two of Kanye West's heads for the balls.
my brother is a facebook fan of two things: God, and Rhianna. if he's not a prime example of the rare "baptist closeted gay," i don't know who is.
Exactly. All of us sinners go to hell and get nothing while all of the goody two shoes get to go to heaven where its all pink floyd, lasers, and pot.
I cannot remember December 31 for the past 3 years. it might as well not even exist on my calendar anymore
please dont make me drink to the titanic soundtrack
if there weren't so many witnesses I 100% wouldve punted that squirrel
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
she stopped traffic so I could crutch across the street. Clubbing while crippled and drunk is different.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
So I was bartending last night and this guy w/ his gf said that he recognized me, so I asked him, "do you watch a lot of gay porn?"
He's doing his thing where I don't know if he's alive until three in the afternoon so idk
Hypothetically speaking, at what point does fire become too much fire?
You screamed out "happy birthday Jesus" followed by chugging Bacardi straight out the bottle
I've decided if you aren't here in fifteen minutes I'm leaving you for Mario the 75 year old Colombian bartender.
Just got recognized as black out drunk girl. I'm never going to live that down, am I?
Randomize
