im in his phone as 'great ass to tap'
You don't even know the meaning of faking an orgasm until you sleep with an uncircumcised ginger.
Just heard an advertisement for 40 proof chocolate milk. We may never have to grow up
I'm tangled in a fishing net down at the harbor. This has nothing to do with Captain Morgan. Bring wirecutters.
you left saying you wanted to "go piss on that girl's doorstep" and we didn't see you the rest of the night
that actually explains a lot
I did something similar high once. I stopped like 30 feet in front of a stop sign because I felt like it was running towards me and I started crying. Got out my car and hugged it and told it not to run away people need it.
I'm trying to seductively eat these M&M's to let her know its on
Seriously can I go through one convo where masturbating doesn't come up
she's sitting there like the lesbian godfather. A cigarette in one hand and a titty in the other.
I wouldn't call that a crush. It was more of a minor brain aneurism.
I spent half an hour sculpting my pubes into a perfect triangle of really short hair, and the first thing he said when he saw it was "Don't you think you need a shave?"
what happened last night?!
you took a shot and then laid down on our kitchen table and passed out.. then when we tried to move you to the couch you screamed "no! i love tables"
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
That portable toilet under the bed? Turns out it was a tuba. Explains alot.
I just volunteered myself to get tazed this should get interesting
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