i went to toss her salad and she had a toilet paper clinger on one of the hairs
and while your girlfriend wears your relationship pants, i'll be wearing my ecstasy pants
Only in college do people pre-game a meteor shower
One person in the car. Three blizzards. Alot of judging.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
just credit carded her and her mom at the same time... that drunk. get on my level
I would like to add..this is the first november for two years that i haven't cheated on a bf...thank you..thank you
After the second day the hotel realized I wasn't responsible enough to have a comforter, so they took it for the rest of the trip.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Guess who won bingo at the senior center and is going to jail all in the same night?
I hope my shame shaped pee stain outside your door goes away soon.
After the Jell-o shots and about 6 shots of lighter fluid brand tequila, it got to the point where breathing was painful. All I could do was pray I didn't fall asleep in the front yard.
How do I go about this? "Hey, its my birthday in 40 minutes. Would you like to come over for some sex? Also, please bring snacks"?
every day is bullshit and fuck everyone. That's my motto for the week
The thing about online classes is the prof can't tell this mug is full of beer.
Randomize
