Tell me exactly where it said it wasn't a unisex bathroom.
FYI..good luck when you get back from work.. mom and dad know about the boy you brought home last night
haha good one..how did you even know?
we all know. he obviously didn't leave when you might have told him to.. he came down when we were eating because he coud smell mom's cooking. the dude ate with us and offered to say grace. so yeah, good luck.
sometimes i wish i was able to text my cat and tell him i miss him and that i'm thinking about him
Should I feel bad that I fucked her and made her ride my little brothers razor scooter home?
The stripper had a daughter my age and offered to introduce us. I didn't know what to say to that.
I love that my brother has just convinced my dad that smoking a blunt it an "unspoken family tradition"
I woke up this morning and the lid to the back of my toilet was missing. Dahfaq do I do with this shit?
legit question. can i put a condom down our garbage disposal? my rents are coming over in 20
You left something at the house but since I'm back home now so I can just mail it over. Address?
I didn't realize you could put dignity in a box these days.
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
I think my penis runs off weed. I haven't smoked it 3 days and I have no sex drive what so ever
His sister hates me so I took his virginity on her bed
I can't tell if my heart is fluttering because I love him... or if it's palpitating from all the coke.
if i had an alexa it would be saying “have sex with guys that don’t care about you”
i just turned on my printer and found 10 pounds of german chocolate inside. i think i found where you hid your candy last night
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