Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
at first I thought it was funny, but looking at it now, it screams "dramatic" and "medicated wipes."
So many tools at one table, you'd enjoy my italian family
Retelling stories from our semester makes me realize we need to get tested for herpes.
Well Im currently dressed up as batman raiding frat houses for booze
I took his sheets with my when I left seeing that I underestimated my period. Also grabbed a 6-pack out of the fridge because breakfast is the most important meal of the day & I don't do other peoples laundry for free.
whatever. i almost had sex in a car with someone passed out in the back seat. phone's not my biggest worry.
Jameson and I invented street rugby last night. Yeah
I think the solution to your phobia is an open relationship with your dildo. about the same responsibility as a pet rock
i could've stared at her spine forever man..she was so deep, and she made a drink out of vodka and organic mangoo shit. i will find her and present that goddess with some fucking gummies
you're no longer allowed out of my sight at parties
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I assume some self respect is too lofty of a gift idea
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I'm to the point where I just want to get back at him in a hot man sex tornado way.
Heels with jeans turned Casual Friday into Casual Sex With My Boss Friday
Randomize
