Not that I thought your boyfriend was a phile
But the whole crossing guard thing? Weird.
last night I thought his shirt said yale... but this morning it definitely says old navy.
i really wish facebook had an app for when you are looking at a chick's photo album, you could just skip to the ones where she and/or her friends are dressed like skanks
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
I've never felt so epic in my entire life as I do right now, my bare testicles staring down the ocean itself
That bitch makes my crazy look like a walk in the park with cotton candy
I don't know if I should feel proud or ashamed of myself...ashamed for making myself a drink at 6:15am or proud for actually being awake that early.
sitting in the kitchen naked and eating stirfry, random dude left my room saying thanks and gave me a bottle of wine. explain...
Someone I just met told me they were going to name their kid after me. Daylight savings is weird.
We're trying to make our wedding vows nice but meeting on OkCupid fucks that up entirely.
You know something is wrong with your life when your mom is at the bar getting free tequila shots and you aren't
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
I should probably add her on Facebook for as much as I cheat off her in Physics, huh?
they gave me money. the money smells like weed. also they gave me weed
Randomize
