hooking up with chicks might be the way to go after all. walk of shame looks better in her clothes.
I was speaking french the whole night. Until i got arrested. Then I decided I should probably start speaking English.
Found a barbie with nipples. Life is complete.
I know. It's cray. Crayon. Crayolaaaaa.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You know it's nice having a girlfriend who will lotion your balls for you
I have the relationship skills of Miley Cyrus and I could've said this was a bad idea
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
She tried to subtly measure me, but I noticed. She told me I barely made the cut otherwise there would have been just a handshake as a parting gift.
Next time, dont ever let me talk to a guy drunk, especially if I have class with him the next day
Who do you have class with??
The guy that pulled down his pants in the middle of the dance floor to show me his tattoo
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Yeah then you killed that bottle of Bacardi in under 20 minutes. So much for being an organ donor.
We got stoned and took selfies with the most perfect lawn
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
Fuck. I did it again. I plugged in my toaster and walked away thinking it needed to preheat. I am dumb.
her idea of a romantic time is a bottle of jager, some Guacamole and chips.
can't go wrong with guac.
She is beauty she is grace
she’s masturbsting in front of an open window while drunk af 9am
i thought you had class
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