she took her clothes off and my dick went from =====> to =>
you were making out, puked over his shoulder and insisted everything was okay
She told me she was selfish for not giving me a blowjob... I couldn't agree more.
I had a dream that we erected a stage in our living room for "impromptu performances" how can we make this a reality?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
mom just made me 'sorry-you-have-hpv-pancakes'
If the world would stop letting me feel invincible I would probably stop doing this shit.
I think my vagina is phsycic. All day it tingled and then BAM Channing Tatums look alike fucks me like ive never been fucked in my life.
you taught an eight year old how to shotgun a half pint of chocolate milk, that's all i'm saying
if i cared i wouldnt have woken you up by pouring a bottle of soy sauce on you.
is that what this stuff is?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
This reminds me of the time I was given a lap dance by a David Bowie drag king...
Just watched my entire extended family eat salad out of the bowl i threw up in last night.
In local news, attempts to hide phone from extremely drunk self prove unsuccessful for Dallas woman.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Hate my fucking roommates.... Seriously, who the FUCK peels potatoes in the bathroom sink?!
NO NINJA FIGHTING AT THE GAS STATION
Randomize