Holy shit! This guy had his hands and feet handcuffed and was scooting across the interstate and we almost hit him because it was so dark. I hate Louisiana.
I have a masturbator in my 5th grade class. the teacher told me ever since they caught him humping the desk in 2nd grade, they haven't been able to control him. he's even on medication but he will just do it in class
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
The last good decent convo we has was when I was trying to convince you to let me watch you pee.
It's gotten to the point that the dirty talk in my head when I touch myself has your accent
I think my whole family judged my ability to change under a blanket.
In a moving vehicle and other people in the car
Well going home with a Ralph Lauren model helped me get over him real fuckin' quick. Would recommend it for all women going through breakups
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
Trying to find a card for this engagement party. Can't find one that says "you met each other 5 months ago, cant wait to get the popcorn out and watch this one fall apart"
we broke the bed, curtan rods, a dresser drawer, and unless I didn't notice it before, we put a hole in the wall. This is why he and I have to fuck in motels.
I've had more lap dances than hrs of sleep since Thursday, this is why you're planning all three of my bachelor parties
You reeked of guilt and shame and we offered you pancakes
Good friends go out of their way to crop dust your ex not once but twice. I knew we were friends for a reason
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
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