It was like a mary poppins bag, except a sexual mary poppins bag.
apparently, it's not a good idea to make jokes about sending newborns through airport security xrays. the moms dont see the humor.
But why'd she put it on the conveyor then?
if you ever come into my room screaming for me to set up rockband at 4:45 am ever again i will kill you
He just walked up to be, grabbed my boob and said 'i think they have shrunk' i have no idea who he was.
I sold weed for gas money to get home. I thought that's what college was for.
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
Guess which frat house I just walked out of! And on a related note... guess who's uncircumsized
Somebody really needs to come home and pick up the used condom from the middle of the wood room floor. It's blue, if that helps decide who comes - uh, home.
Direct quote from her that tipped me off I was getting some: "I want to jump on his shoulders and wrap my legs around his face"
to have them in my mouth would be like meeting a unicorn while floating on a cloud of glitter
I need to stop getting drunk and telling people it isn't "about them."
My purpose is to unleash drunk self on strangers, i believe as some terrifying icebreaker, otherwise i too would offer my driving services.
Before we have sex for the first time I would like "eye of the tiger" to be playing to mentally prepare me for what I'm about to endure.
Blame the bisexuality and move on?
I don't wanna be 33 that's when Jesus died
Randomize
