I just passed one of the bars and saw my mom kissing another woman. This can't be good....right?
Knowing your life, probably not.
I'm convinced her vagina is similar to chernobyl, but I want to visit it for the novelty value anyway.
I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
Well we ran into the cornfields when the cops got there. We'd been hiding in there for 45 mins when he asks me "So this wasn't exactly how I'd planned this but I thought I'd ask. How do you feel about oral sex?"
3 months til "no sober october" start prepping now. i cant have you bitch out on me halfway through like last year.
If I ever write a book, i'm calling it "why do i work with fucktards?"
It'll be a good sequel to my other book, "why do i sleep with fucktards?"
We may have picked the wrong resort. Brenna and I have already been propositioned for swinging twice and we've only been here 3 hours
I'm not the one who gave a guy that lives next door to my grandmother a blowjob in a pub bathroom in Ireland, you have no room to judge.
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
a guy offered me a piece of pizza if I'd make out with a random girl. We got the whole damn box and I ain't even mad
Literally the fucking master of salvaging the possibility of a blow job whilst also crushing somebody's dreams.
Look, I tried but his dick tasted like disappointment.
That's not the problem. The problem is I thought I was over him but he smells nice today.
We were in a bathroom while 4 dudes compared dick piercings.
Buffalowww
are you comparing glasses to pregnancy
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