id fuck shawn from boy meets world only if we could name the baby topanga.
i just broke my key off in the door of my house because the engine wasnt starting
I didn't realize how much I missed him until his balls were back in my mouth..
no. 1 rule of bromania: no females
I'll have you know that I'm still picking duct tape residue off my wrist from sunday
I believe you called it tequila and nipples. The proceeded to strike a pose.
I'm working on finding a bottomless situation. Both pants and mimosas.
You put your finger on my lips and told me 'the butt is nature's pocket'.
I don't remember that at all, but I stand by what I said
There is this threesome scene that is literally 10 minutes of straight fucking
Omg so it's educational?
Sorry, I thought I responded to your question. My name is Jon, we kinda had a sleepover at your friends place in OC. Don't know if you remember me, you were "dick chugging" like there was no tomorrow last night.
She told me she brought a guy home but that he looked pickled. And no, that's not an autocorrect.
Hahahah pickled
I asked her what she meant and she said that he looked like he had soaked in water.
I was so hungover at work I had my shirt on backwards. I had no idea how I managed to get through today puke free.
Asking for a friend: is it frowned upon to eat pizza while you materbate or does it just mean you are fantastic at multitasking?
Curing hangovers with more alcohol was a great idea for the first five days
You know the rule about how you feel bad for getting food and not offering other people you're around, does that apply when you eat burger king at a strip club?
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