i wonder if she has dreads down there too...
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Can we end it on a good note at least? Can we fuck and then never talk again?
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
somebody put my brain in a crown royal bag and beat the shit out of it
captain cockblock got me again last night so i put a squirrel in his room and jamed the door shut
But the guy you're fucking should not be within ten pounds of your weight when you're five fucking feet tall and he's 6'2". That's all I'm saying.
I can't feel my tongue. And that means go. Green means go. And you know what Barney says. Green means go and woah means no. DRIIIIINKK
Day 1 of the Fuck Your Ex weekend has been productive. Already boned Steph and we're both still glad we arnt together anymore.
He is indeed a crazy mutha fucka. But mark my words. MARK MY WORDS. My job has placed me at the same party as Tom Cruise. I. Am. Fucking. The. Crazy. Out. Of . That. Alien . Fucker.
Yeah, but he has adorable dimples and dimples talk me into things.
You asked me what the point was. Told me your were dying alone and then had me take you and Wendy's where you bought 3 meals and ate them in about 10 minutes saying you didn't care if you got fat...
It turns out my English teacher used to pose for Playboy. She's an inspiration.
So apparently being drunk at work isn't allowed.. who knew?
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
Randomize
