my boob sweat smells like rotting zombie flesh
is this your pickup line?
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Ive had to apologize to every girl i know today because of you
if she leaves who will i have to secretly talk about behind thier back
You realize we can hear you jacking off in your room, right?
I like it rough
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
just because she threw up on my junk doesnt mean i dont like asians anymore
My adult sexuality and some of the best memories of my childhood collided like a Pee Wee Herman wet dream.
Elaborate
Strip Mario-Kart
I lull them into a false sense of security with my gayness. Then when they're vulnerable, I strike, like a snake. A big non-gay snake, with huge balls.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
We really shouldn't need this many nicknames for the women you've had sex with.
I told ya. I'm super awesome at making things super awkward. I'm the Awkwardnator.
I just matched with a taco on tinder. Dreams come true.
Only great wives bring your dope to you when you are at the Cardiologist
His truck was very sexy. Unfortunately, shortly thereafter, I discovered that the whole overcompensating thing is very true...
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