My low point of the night was when my roommate spit out her jello shot and i took it...
you came in and threw goldfish on our blue carpet and screamed SWIM BITCHES and then made me drink a best friends potion with you
sorry for making everyone realize you look like bruce jenner
it's been a while because I don't count the hooker
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
I can't believe I paid your booty call for a ride home in cake.
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
Friends help friends remove their foot from the sunroof after an epic smoke sesh.
You're doing that 'overestimating how much I care' thing again.
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
I just ate beer and cupcakes for breakfast.... maybe this fourth of july won't be so bad
I was out of breath when we were getting started and he offered me his inhaler so he's a keeper
you bet i'm gonna rock his four-foot-two world.
Other than the whole stab wound in my leg thing, today was pretty good. The nurses all loved me and gave me a sandwich and juice.
Randomize
