Whiskey dick.
Yea dude! Love it. Hate it. Have it.
Everyday of my life.
no, no I am DEF NOT pregnant. typo. sorry, wanted to talk about us...
Dudes got a Polo tattoo. I don't care if he has a yacht I can't handle that level of gay.
sellin beer in gallon jugs is both the best and worst idea ever. Im only gonna have one beer...but its gonna be 128 ounces.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I'm sorry that spending new years with you was fucking my boyfriend in your bathroom multiple times
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
My roommate comes home screaming, I brought you home a friend! I thought she brought me a guy...no, she brought home a one-eyed shih tzu.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My mom just sent me this: "I like Jon, but he needs to be the one going down on you! Yeah, we saw your head pop up in your car last night."
That's the last time I get in a car with six rappers headed to god knows where.
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
Apparently I blacked out and started wrestling with some dude last night. Just found out I might have dislocated his shoulder. Best part: he still wants to bone me
You're officially the most high maintenance man I've ever had inside me.
im mad at you for telling me he ejaculated during "let it go." Thanks for ruining the song forever.
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