But I'm halfway naked in a seductive pose! I just want to get this right...
My bad bro. I had no idea that when i suggested our triva team name be my last abortion tickled, that she would bring up cancun. Stay strong i think she really liked you
i just made my mom cry by blowing spit bubbles.
everyone knows that carl winslow was the sexiest man in die hard.
Just burped. Tasted like beer and cherios...Beerios. This is gonna be quite a day.
My RA just tried to write me up for having sex too loudly during quiet hours.
He was singing "i gotta feeling" under his breath as i was pulling my top off.
I made him hve sex with me in the elevator so that I could put my finger down in never have I ever.
He showed up drunk to my cousions HS grad party, we stayed at the bars till 2, then he got up at 5 to run a half marathon and by the time I woke up wlhe was already back and drinking.
How did our waiter from olive garden end up passed out drunk in my roommate's bed?
We found her on the balcony debating if it was easier to jump or throw up. Neither decision would not have been good for the 91 year old below us.
The guy I brought home last night made a speedy escape while I was in the bathroom. The only trace I found of his flight was a lone sock on the stairs.... It was like a whorey low budget Cinderella
I mean, he's 40, foreign, artsy but with substance abuse problems and estranged children. How is he not my type?
I fucked R2D2 last night. I consider Star Wars day a success.
I wasn't supposed to sleep w him. So of course I sent him gps location to my bed.
Randomize
