So I just opened the bag you gave me and those panties aren't mine...
oh
So she couldn't stop dragging her teeth while she was blowing me.
Ahh dude, that fucking sucks, what'd you do about it?
Decided to drag my teeth while eating her out... She got the point.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
I'm half bulimic - I binge but forget to purge
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just had an awkward elevator run in with that guy you puked on
Not rlly sure. Might just drink and sleep. Gotta wake up for my last rabies shot lol
just made one giant jello shot... if i have to study on a saturday night, i'm gonna do it as drunk as possible
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
When I was drunk texting him about three ways he seemed more interested in just seeing me. And that's when I knew something was wrong with him
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Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
It has now been 10 days since we last saw Sebastians penis
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
It finally happened my mom knowingly gave me money to buy drugs i knew this day would come\n
Hey do you remember me?
You were the giant banana I had sex with... how could i forget?
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
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