Overheard: "his girlfriend fucks him with the lights off. It's not serious."
lmfao. well really. it's not love if you cringe at the site of his anus.
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
I'm graduating. Then you'll never see me again.
We better fuck soon then
when we got back we had sex. but it wasnt til the morning that i figured out her leg was broken
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
I'm convinced that college is the only place where one can have an existential crisis over what sweatpants to wear
The liquor stores are closed! NOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO! CURSE YOU SANDY!!!!
I don't want to ruin date night, but you have no idea how hard it is to poop whilst looking at cute puppies.
He ate the contents of an ashtray and didn't puke, I think he can handle drinking a fifth to himself.
Hey! I need booze. And penises. And a lot of mistakes that I will regret in the morning.
because of daylight savings time I lost an hour of sex with an incredibly hot guy last night. thanks a lot farmers.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Sometimes having a penis is like having a really stupid drunk best friend. You see it doing dumb shit but you're just not the one in charge.
There's a weed, money and oreo filled pinata promised for our party.
Straight boys are literally imbeciles. If Darwinism doesn’t get them female rage will.
Randomize
