they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
Passing las posas road. In a world of pain. Im trying to piss in a bottle through the hole in my crotch. I wish i had a bigger dick.
my math teacher staples burger king applications to failed tests
just when i thought we would make it home without incident he tried to walk a police dog
I keep calling his kid the wring name. This is not helping my cause. And by cause mean his dick
Noooo. I told you she WAS a cancer. Not that she HAS cancer. This was the one time being a doctor didnt get you laid you alcoholic bastard
Why do you think it's a no-pants party?
Invite says "dress to impress". Her fault for leaving it open to interpretation.
Just did a slip and slide down a five story staircase in my dorm. Being an engineer is fucking awesome
Target doesn't accept your signature for your credit card if you draw a dick on the pad. Even of your name is Richard.
Remember that time i gave you head on MY birthday and you made me stop so you could watch the rhino part in 300
think I signed up for a 5k last night while blackout.
I just realized that I have dated 5 unemployed guys...and 3 that drove pt cruisers...Turns out I do have a type.
But I'm a half a mile from my bed. And I have the hiccups. I hate hiccups.
yeah, I don't think I'm getting into the baseball game tonight. The security guard definitely saw me bowl over that child.
Act your age.
I am. I'm acting like a drunk 20 year old.
Randomize
