I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
I just spent an hour correcting all the grammar and spelling of all the 2pac songs on my ipod
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
i threw up in his kitchen sink and then used a measuring cup to drink water because i couldn't find a clean glass. i just threw up down the stairs. it's gonna be a long walk home.
I didn't join FB to see my only child straddle that boy in all her pictures.
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I am "lost the control of my head" high right now.
I won the booty shaking contest by mooning the whole bar
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
I am lonely and hungry. I need a girlfriend, but I'd settle for my mom.
I sexted him with a GIF from titanic and it worked....
I was trying to come up with a reason why you shouldn't be naked in front of me, and now I have 'If you give a mouse a cookie" stuck in my head
this bedazzled flask is my best investment yet
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