If you were a Panda and I were a Koala and we had a baby, it'd be a falafel. Just think about that.
Have you ever seen a 300 pound pregnant lady's boob fall out of her shirt cuz she's not wearing a bra? I have.
bruce springsteen sings some of the most romantic songs i've ever heard.
the hells wrong with u
you only had a canadian ten, but you said it was all good cuz you would just by molson.
Im at the hospital with monitors on and a giant green top hat. i blew a 24somethin. Im fucked.
I just sneezed alcohol in a candle and started a fire.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
My goal for this summer is to make enough extra money to be able to afford the ticket for water skiing naked.
Can we please stop calling your vagina the cave of wonders?
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
Yehhhaaww I'm way ahead of you. I'm gunna get her a card that says " I'm sorry your now ex boyfriend decided to upgrade"
Kurt said to text you and encourage you to come out tonight. Encourage you with my rack.
And I might get them triple pierced after that
Damn, I didn't realize you'd declared war on airport metal detectors
"Douchebag of the Year" award goes to the guy who didn't reply to the picture of my tits.
My doctor wrote down abstinence as my form of birth control. #ihavenodatinglife
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