need another drink. this is the easiest way
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
This tent reeks of fear and sangria
A woman on my train just walked down the carriage in a wedding dress, crying and clutching a can of Carlsberg. Oh...
Im the proud new owner of the campus speed bump sign
just peed in rthe mens room but seranaeded them with adelle the whole timee so they didnt mind
Sitting here reading the internet and all i have to show for this summer is a shitty tan and the possible case of clamidia.
Convincing a cop that you have diplomatic immunity is way harder in Dallas than in Serbia. And you get fined for attempted bribery.
You gotta pick a side. My suggestion: side with tits.
How many drinks/blunt hits do you think I could get if I wore an "it's my birthday" shirt
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
I'll call it a tollerance break and either will be celebrating my new job with a bowl or will be smoking my sadness away from not getting the job. Either way.
He was standing in the living room wearing a Donald Trump wig and looking very disappointed
Fuck you. You were a total asshole last night.
We will get to that, but can anybody tell me whose fucking socks I am wearing?!
Dude. $3 Jack n Cokes AND Cheesesticks... Find me tomorrow plz
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