I'm sorry I'm just not ready to become vampire yet
he got wood on it!
i know. i had to sit in his lap on the plane. he also wore teva sandals.
...i was talking about hockey
If im going to fail a midterm I might as well be drunk while I do it
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
i feel like my life is a cheap remake of American Pie
Hey bring in backup. its going to take a lot more beer than we think to fill up the water bed...
It wasn't really sex. It was just rolling around, trying to make sure his dick didn't end up in my ass.
Ive never seen him vulnerable before. He just had surgery and looked so cute on his crutches. like a little baby bird with a broken wing. that i wanted to nurse back to health. with my vagina
Hey.. there are 2 people i've never met before spooning in the bathtub. Please elaborate on what went down last night.
BTW my friend remembers her as "the one with the pronounced chin"
I'm so glad I was blacked out while I was going all exorcist in the bathroom. That's so not a memory I want.
The more I piece together last night the more I want to vomit it out of my brain.
so, i guess i gotta chill on showing up to work hungover... someone anonymously left a bible in my work mailbox (no one else got one)
Your english degree would kill itself if it could read that text.
maybe a couloe typos.. noooooooooo big deal
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
Randomize
