Have you finally orgasmed yet?
Pretty people don't get stds, I knew it
I'm think I may have given your ex's number to a convicted sex offender.
Win!
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Angelique from Rock of Love is now doing phone sex commercials for central illinois....id say she's going places.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
It was a deal breaker when she told me not to wear a condom and god would decide if we were meant to be together.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
Be my booze princess bebe. I'll rescue you from the lame tidings you are confined to up in the sober castle.
She made me walk a straight line to prove i was sober enough to help carry you to the car
Knowing you it was perfect out of spite. Like. A line straighter than YOU
We had sex and he ended up in the hospital... don't know if I should be worried or proud.
Worst wingman u don't do ANYTHING but laugh at my incompitant shyness
It goes to show, Sane person, daddy doms, little girls, all of us may seem different but deep inside we all grow wisdom teeth
The blonde cop looked at my license and told me I better have be home when her shift ends
I hate you
Randomize
