I would wrestle an alligator for a bj right now
how do i tell her that i need alcohol to fuck her but at the same time i cant get a hard on with alcohol.
I don't really know I'm just giving her a key to get back in and the "don't get pregnant speech" and leaving it at that.
I guess I just got drunk and ordered a mini fridge off the internet. At least now I know the 200$ that was missing from my checking account wasn't spent on lap dances only.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Did the math... it's Magna Cum Laude whether I get a 4.0 or a 0.0 this semester. I'm blacking out now, wake me up when I have to walk across the stage,
My wedding band has saved me from at least four cases of herpes tonight.
Believe me. As soon as the boss man is out the door. I am on my way to wow your vagina with my horse-like attributes.
I just told the joker that my vagina is the bat cave and he needs to infiltrate it.
The stock is going waaaaay up on that picture of my pussy with a bowtie on it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
My sister just showed me a snap chat that I don't remember sending, it was a picture of me with two big macs in my bra with just the words "BURGER TITS"
You should not have followed "the guy who peed in my bed" with "he smells good."
How do you make a Facebook status saying how much you fucking hate yourself without being aggressive enough for people to worry about your safety
Cuz that's where I'm at
He slept outside in his hammock, and then took a lawn chair with him in the shower because he was too drunk to stand up.
These rednecks don't fuck around. This party is completely BYOB and we now have 6 kegs, 3 of which have already been emptied.
There's a big difference between a penis and a toilet.
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