What are you talking about? And how drunk are you?
Both
I least I know I can't get pregnant because it's on my hair
dude we gotta go shopping. I made pancakes this afternoon and used them as sandwich bread.
i'm naked playing bejeweled blitz in your bed. this is both a forewarning and an apology
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
She started crying while we were cooking shrimp because 'Under the Sea" came on Pandora
But like now everytime I pee I just think... wow I had sex with him on this toilet.
I just sold some kid a bong I made out of a vuvuzela for $50. I think I found my career path.
Moral of the story: If you're gonna throw a glass of wine in a guy's face, don't do it in your own kitchen.
With me living this close to Mexico now, Tequila is just a geographical choice at this point if nothing else.
I own a halfway home for drunk girls, this is my life
Not exactly hook line and sinker right away, but I'll give him a second chance. I should sext him me in my blue shark onesie.
He's mad at me because I said I wouldn't date him if his dick was smaller. I fail to see the issue
I definitely fucked a Trump supporter last night but I wouldn't let him fully admit it because then I would've had to leave and his cock and abs were too perfect
I think my time would be better spent seducing the TA then trying to save this paper.
Randomize
