He started to lick my mole,thinking it was my nipple.
Try denying you're gay when "I'm Not A Girl, But Not Yet A Woman" comes on Shuffle.
Ah, the precious few moments between when i wake up and when i realize why i'm sleeping on a treadmill.
i'm sitting in the pool eating chicken pot pie with my little brother's friend. moments like these are the reason i love weed.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
We sat on the porch laughing about hilarious the sunrise was. And that we can do drugs again in the morning, thank god
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
We woke up at 7:30am. We got a 30 rack, yelled at all the freshman shackers walkin back to their dorms, played a game of beer die, and boned all before 11:00am. I found my soulmate
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
Yeah, first date. First take a pic of him to circulate around for your friends and than have him fill out a short penis questionnaire. Seems completely legit to me.
I'm permanently fucked. Every liquid I put into my mouth automatically tastes like fireball.
She's currently doing somersaults across the kitchen floor without underwear on. We may not make it to the bar.
So i had a lucid dream about blowing myself. This is why people love me
Just fantasized about my boss's fingers in a meeting. I desperately need to get some.
I think someone is dead in a car across the street
Scratch that, dude's getting a blow job
Randomize
