it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
I've decided I'm just gonna keep drinking til the baby bump shows...
She recited Pi throughout ever orgasm she had....she said it was a game she likes to play...how far she gets is how she judges her lovers...I am oddly turned on by this...
we were bear claw grabbing his crotch in the middle of the bar yelling prominent ridge over and over.
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I don't even know. I woke up in the bathtub with no shirt, covered in towels holding what appeared to be vanillia pudding mixed with captain morgan.
Just found out he cheated on me last night. But its Shark Week so I will deal with it next week.
She had me dip my balls in cake batter ice cream from cold stone and then tea bag her. Let's get weird just got a whole new meaning.
I could probably do something when Im able to get enough strength to think about thinking about to stand.
Listen, I bought the coke that got us those free drinks, okay? Show some respect.
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Make me food? I don't want to be a science experiment. I'm dunk. Holy shit. Drunk*. Let's do science.
I sit across from him at graduation so I get to stare at him and think about how I fucked his step brother and laugh to myself
I think you're overestimating how drunk I was
You said your pillow felt like the ocean...
Walking back to my car from the campus library and just saw a Nuva Ring on the sidewalk. If that doesn't scream college life, idk what does.
No pussy. I don't care what time of year it is you do not look tough wearing sandals. Honestly you look like a high school guidance counselor.
Don’t be alarmed my pee bowl is in your shower
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