Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
just googled chastity belt to see if it really exist..
Only if you bring Listerine. I can't come home to my husband from a bachelorette party with spermbreath again.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
Things were easy when he was just a penis. Now he's a penis with feelings.
Will that be creepy to wake him up at midnight with my tongue all over his body??
So do you want to hear how I got the hickey first, or how I got the black eye?
I can't! Its just like the night that I bathed you, I didn't tell anyone.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
all im saying is 27 is too old to still be drinking 40s, you make more money than me, buy some decent shit
screw you you golddigging beer snob
You know you're out of shape when you're sore after masturbating.
you know maybe it wouldnt be so bad if it hadnt happened before. At least I didnt blow him this time
Idk if I want to put a bra on
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