i just realized Britney Spears and I are more alike than I thought. Both of us have our parents in complete control of our lives, we both have restraining orders on previous boyfriends, and we all know both of us can put on a hell of a show
Crying babies in a bar. Really?
And she just changed the baby's diaper on the table. It's killing the beer garden.
So instead of cumming in her, I peed in her...
What did she do!?
I didn't tell her...
If i have to listen to his problems about his girlfriend, he should at least let me suck his cock.
Admittedly I was a little ambitious with some of the positions but you walked in during the worst of it.
So one buddy got tackled at the urinals by national guard members and was arrested. Another had sex in a port o potty with possibly the drunkest girl I've ever encountered. The rest of us blacked out and won a few bets. So yes, the derby did meet our expectations.
I haven't been this hungover since you found me laying in front of your door gagging with pepto bismal tablets scattered around me
I don't care what we do tonight, as long as it makes me forget that my boyfriend just told me he likes taking it up the ass from big guys dressed as construction workers
I'll make a Jello mold of your face so everyone can get drunk off your face
Just saw the guy with the plastic bag on his head riding his bike again...
I just wanna be craddled in his arms and spoon fed applesauce..
that's the most romantic thing you've ever said.
I'm gonna fingerblast you when you get off work. Get ready.
Pitting the remainder of the bottle against my hangover. I'm expecting an all out cage match for my soul and wellbeing.
After we drank 3, we built a raft out of the empties and installed the fourth submerged In the water to keep it cool. Keg boats are now a thing
if i ever get to the point where i am moaning when i pee, please do the honorable thing and kill me.
Randomize
