After he proceded to violently molest my tits until 9 am i snuck out of his room only to meet his mother downstairs, who informed me she heard the giant sexfest going on in the room next to them.. this was before she called us both "chickenshits".. worst walk of shame ever.
Just found out for my occult lit class (history of cults) final project is making a spellbook. Hello last term of college.
i threw up on the table at the pizza place and peed in her room mates closet. i wouldnt invite me back either
So I was about the only one NOT pregaming or stoned at my aunt's funeral... Maybe thats why I'm the black sheep.
Hickies on top of my hickies. I need a leash and/or a positive female role model
She only spoke Russian, but she was so gorgeous it didn't matter
Oh. I think she ate all the cake and took our vodka...still gorgeous.
His balls looked like two miss shaped chicken nuggets
Pretty sure the shower sex fucked up my hip alignment... im walking like im 104 today
Sadly he is straight as an arrow that is designed by a robot computer from the future with lasers.
This saddens me. Mostly because I want to see the schematics on that robot.
I don't know, I think it's at least a minor achievement when you can light up with the guy who took your virginity and act like you didn't have and incredibly awkward sexual experience together
He sent me a picture of his dick as a snake, I'd say things are going great.
quickly learned not to sleep with your roommate and work colleague in the same week
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
I'm glad I date someone who likes the simple things. Sex, kittens, and McDonald's.
It'd be good to change things up a bit, right now the only public service I'm doing from my apt is hanging out in my underwear with the lights on.
Randomize
