just realized i've hooked up with 3/4 of the guys here COOL
i think i got so emotional from a mix of getting my period and slapping the bag like five times
This is part your fault too. Don't tell me your dishes are unbreakable and not expect me to prove you wrong.
He's going to let me keep his bowl in my car. Does that make us Facebook official?
You called your ex's vag an "AIDS Pinata". Drunk You is the Hulk Hogan of insults.
do you think this outfit says "I maintained my dignity this weekend"?
she put on her moms wedding dress and is chugging purple jolly rancher vodka, happy cyber monday
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Your life is one shit show away from being a lifetime movie.
you can only text me tonight if its in drake lyrics. thats the rule
Now that I'm sober, I'm realizing you put your name in my phone as "wowww"
I traded him cumming in my face for a year for a Disney annual pass. One giant leap back for feminism, one small step for the adult child Disney fan.
This guy on the tube is sooooooo high. Eyes are bloodshot and he's licking his headphone cords.
Can you explain to me why I showed my boobs to the firemen to get free beer?
We got to the hospital and the girls who caused the accident had already added you on facebook.
Randomize
