I may be a little high but I'm pretty sure my alphabet soup has only Os in it
We call that spaghetti Os
I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
what if every blade of grass was a penis?
lets make a pact to never make a pregnancy pact
I told him he was my first gentile. He was so flattered.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
You tried to convince me you were sober by doing jumping jacks. For an hour.
She took the bride and groom figures and the top layer of their cake and tried to walk out of the reception with it in her purse.
i don't even know why we got arrested this time. i think the cops just like our company at this point
They invited me day drinking but brought their kids. 3 two year olds and 1 11 month old. I was asked to change a diaper, I laughed and took another drink of this margarita. I LIKE CHANEL AND TEQUILA NOT CHILDREN. Can we make new friends?
She shit all over my seat. She is not allowed in my car under any circumstances. Not even with drugs. You can't forgive a shit.
Bring me that man meat
dude, she has my telletubby sweats and my good sweatshirt hostage, I can't risk their safety with a breakup
Also, asking the guy who just told you he is crippled on edibles to watch your kid is probably frowned upon by most
Dude you where on that lil kids bike at 2 am ridin down the turning lane wearing only socks and a helmet singing born to be wild, no you weren't that fucked up
Randomize
