he asked me if i had ever jacked off high and then referred to it as a "man-to-man question"
words of advice: black light parties reveal cum stained clothing.
we've been doin it since '07. it's like married sex now, were both comfortable so neither of us really tries anymore, we just do it because it's convenient
They turned the water off again. Brushed my teeth with whats left from those pitchers of mojitos. So hung over i dont even care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
and somewhere between crying in her arms and throwing up in her front yard, we became friends.
i found you in bed eating fish fillets dipped in chocolate pudding
I found my spirit animal in the shower. It's a sloth/bear that lives in my chest.
By the way I got my period today. No NHL babies for me.
I'm about to get my nails done. Would the polish name "meet me at the altar" be too straight forward for a first date?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I never thought people would keep their guns next to their fake plastic penises, but there they were.
How's everyone else's ass tattoo today?
Im quite confident that my struggle with sobriety ended last night sometime after dinner
When you leave ur sleepover boy on ur front porch waiting for a cab bc work
Heard flapping noises behind me. It was my roommate flapping her bathrobe like wings, saying "I'm a faaaiiiiry."
My boss is explaining why he thinks time goes by faster and faster. Bc of the rockets. No lie.
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