it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
we left the bar for like 10 minutes last night and moved his car so it wouldnt get towed. neither of us have a clue where it is right now.
my dad's beating me at drinking again. No matter what i do I can't win.
i remember getting really pissed off when you wouldn't let me sleep in the garage with your cat.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Streaking across a girls college rugby game is probably the best, and most painful, decision I've ever made
I knew as soon as he opened a beer with his teeth to shotgun it that I was going to sleep with him. I'm never going home.
BRILLIANT IDEA: In honor of summer olympics we need to start a synchronized drinking team.
Oh. My. God. Dad smoked a bowl. He's been playing cards...I just told a story and when I was done, he got really close to my face and very seriously asked me if he had cheese in his beard. I'm about to die.
Btw. U, me, male strippers, beer. Gonna happen. We could totally get TNT from like u know TNT places
He was eating my ass and came up for air, I almost choked laughing because he had a toilet paper cling on stuck in his mustache
Not now. Out of camp chairs. Carving a new one with a chainsaw. Mushrooms are starting to kick and I gotta get this done NOW.
Is there anything more American than getting day drunk and watching Hulk Hogan promos?
Looks like taco salad for lunch. I may have died and gone to be better circle in hell than I thought.
A drunk frat boy just jumped on the hood of my car while I was driving down Bridge St. He yelled at me to keep going since he was playing frogger and needed another car to jump on... or a log. I hate this town.
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