problem. drunk. stepbrother hitting on me again. help.
i thought she was just hairy. i didn't know she was also a man.
Con: they had to cauterize my wound twice. Pro: The docs agreed I'll be able to get really drunk tonight since I've lost so much blood.
sound pretty economical
So I thought I was slick leaving his room this morning all incognito. Little did I know I was wearing his football jersey with his name across the back... stilettos & my bra was left behind. never seeing that again
can't decide if i want to get drunk or coked for this harry potter thing.. it is kind of long
aren't you going with children?
I admire the strength of friendship we have that allows for sharing husbands.
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
The last shot i remember taking was toasted to "love, sex, and magic". Needless to say I was 0 for 3 on that toast for the night.
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
We did a shot for each one. Father... son... and holy ghost. That wasn't enough though so we moved on to toasting dead relatives.
Yeah that's one way to look at it on the other hand MY FUCKING BED CAUGHT ON FUCKING FIRE
Dude, did you really "knight me" and tell me I had permission to bang your sister last night?
Why is there a slipper full of piss in my bedroom?
I stole an accordion from the bar
Accidentally
I'm having ragrets about stealing the accordion
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
Randomize
