2 am we went back to his house. his mom handed us beers and cooked us pancakes. the next morning his dad had washed my car. i lied. living at home after college definitely does not suck.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
sarah just described his penis as "like bong-girth." I'm gunna go for it.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I feel like calling off tonight. Is a strong desire for masturbation a valid reason?
We decided it was acceptable to walk out of class on a quest for Doritos. That high.
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
I think it was a smart move. Quickest way to get over a guy, hook up with his friends.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
They offered me pot brownies in 7 minutes flat. Imagine my horror when I had to be like, are those gluten free?
Hey, remember that time a week ago when we walk-of-shamed literally down the Vegas Strip at 8:45am and I had one broken heel?
Went to my bottom drawer for my stash , gone just a note says thanks sucker love dad
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Is it in poor taste to drop acid before midnight mass?
I love this.
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize