Dont worry, she is sitting right next to me. She is making it clear she wants to scissor
she was using a pencil to fish crushed adderall out of a plastic bag. it was like a college version of fun dip
For some reason, my father is not responding to the 5 texts I sent him that all read: "Dad dad dad dad dad dddaadd dddddaaaaaaaaad dad".
Sleeping with two different guys who share a driveway is getting increasingly challenging to keep secret
theres a wall by my room thats like, a prime fucking wall. before i move out SOMEBODY is gonna fuck me on that wall, goddamnit.
u girls! girls! girls! have fun please don't hook up w/ a roadie! Love, mom
Can one of you do me a favor? Light a match and throw it into my room. Bc I'm certain I would rather be burned to death than live in this hell I call my life
Please note: when a bouncer tells you to leave, pointing out that their career path makes them a much better judge what to do will not make you friends
I want a MapMyFart App, where I can mark every spot where I have ripped one. Like here.
Fuck you i've put so many pretzels in her shirt
She just. Cock slapped me. With string cheese.
Last thing I remember at your house last night is your dad leaning on the beer pong table and saying "you guys can fucking party"
I knew you were on something when you said you were a puppy and you ate all the frosty Paws dog ice cream which says not for human consumption right on the side of it.
Don't send me pics of cunning dicks while I'm eating potato chips
Is there a sexuality term for 'only wants hatefucks'?
Randomize
