"You squeeze, we tiip biiiiiig" JB
you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
i wanted a birthday blowjob. not a birthday VD.
It was worth having to clean the cum stains out of the carpet.
We need to stop celebrating holidays that dont belong to us
When I opened my laptop there was a half eaten little debbie oatmeal cream pie inside.
He went bowling in his bathroom.. And shattered the toilet.
this ms. usa coverage has sucessfully humbled every girl here. depressed fish in a leaky barrel. go!
i jsut waqnnna hugg thw crap outa sokme peoplee
He had "Bad Bitches Only" tattooed above his dick. I don't know his name but I hope I find him again. I also don't feel that I lived up to the challenge.
Can we discuss your tits for a sec? That melon patch sprung up over night
do you think our homemade porn will pass for my cinematography final?
I heard the bride mutter "I should have brought a fucking tranquilizer". I'm not at all surprised that you got banned from the bar afterwards.
Great news. I WILL BE FUCKING IN A BOUNCY HOUSE TOMORROW.
Are you missing a tooth after last night? Because I found one in my coat pocket...along with what smells like dried jäger and a package of deer jerky.
Uh not that I recall.
Oh wait nvm. It's mine. Yeup, definitely my tooth.
Randomize
